Feelings leading up to "Who Am I?"
Sweat drips down and floods the crevices of my skin
My heart races
I don't know what to think right now
All I know is I don't know much
And I'm scared of what's ahead because what if I gave this thing my everything only to end up with nothing in return. What if they hear it and say it burns their ears. What if they hear it and tell me how much trash it is. What if it's not good enough.
What if... what if... what if it's not good enough...
Those are the thoughts that flooded my mind months, weeks, days, hours, and even minutes before I pressed "publish" on Audiomack, Soundcloud, and Bandcamp releasing my debut mixtape "Who Am I?" to the masses on the internet at 12:07 AM on Friday, February 24th, 2017. I thought it might not be "good enough". What is "good enough" though? What does that mean to me? Am I comparing it to what the music industry says it should be resulting in or am I comparing it to God's call on my life to do music to impact others? Sometimes I get in my head too much and I find it funny that I was questioning if this mixtape would be "good enough" when it's a mixtape that fights against being "good enough" claiming we as people are more than good enough. The devil works in funny ways for real. He'll trip you up in a way that is unique to you and your arrows/wounds. I often feel he attacks me with the very thing I'm fighting for, or against.
I remember God's words, "be strong and very courageous. don't be afraid, don't be discouraged; for the Lord, your God, is with you wherever you may go." In those scary moments. In the dark times. We must be strong and take up courageous to fight on and dive into the mystery that is called life.
So these past 5 days have begun the journey forth into what I call God's will. I can't wait to see what lies ahead. With the works of a tour underway and in planning as well as new services and opportunities lining up, I am beyond excited! Thank you to all of y'all who see the vision and support the music and movement. It's not just about me. It's not just about the music. It's about so much more and I'm thankful for those of y'all that see that and vibe with it.
It's only just begun. Let's keep pushing.
- Joshua
DEBUT MIXTAPE "Who Am I?" is OUT NOW!
Free Download here -
- bit.ly/audiomackWAI
- joshuamusiq.bandcamp.com
- bit.ly/soundWAI
